This is Hannah. She’s our little miracle. She may never understand how big of a role she plays in Hope Station’s story, but it will always be true. Some of you may remember that in June of 2016, I (Rebekah) sat down with the orphanage Director and a colleague to talk about a new therapy program. She was surprisingly open to our ideas and asked lots of questions. My colleague and I felt good about where things ended, with her approval to let us try out our therapy program (victory!). But we still hadn’t signed any papers, and with all the past no’s we’d received, I was hesitant to get my hopes up. To my surprise, she followed us out of her office and downstairs to sit with the kids and continue chatting. As we sat there together with the children, she asked us a question I’ll never forget: “This girl,” and she pointed to a child sitting near us, “She’s never been diagnosed, and we don’t know what to do with her. Can you help her?”
The story of fulfilled promises doesn’t end there... I’ve been doing therapy with Hannah for 6 months now. We play a lot, explore a lot, run a lot, and eat a lot. I learned a lot about her lack of communication skills and daily living skills, her need to put everything in her mouth, and her love for all things plastic. She has a lot of needs, a lot more than what I and Hope Station alone can give her. Can we just get real for a moment? I was thrilled that the director asked us to do therapy with a certain child, but I was not expecting Hannah to make very noticeable improvements. And when we started out spending time together, I kept telling myself that even if she doesn’t learn anything, I am still showing the orphanage that I want to hear and work within their suggestions and ideas. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in therapy. I believe that play, and attention from a loving adult, and human interaction can work miracles in a child’s life. But Hannah’s needs were pretty intense and still mysterious. A few months in, I started noticing little victories. She was more attentive to me in our sessions. She remembered where I kept her favorite things even if they were out of her sight. She started to learn our therapy routine and became more physically comfortable being around me. To my amazement, the nannies started noticing changes too. “Every time she sees you through the window, she starts smiling and running around the room.” “She is looking at me more these days!” “She is grabbing my arm and leading me to where she wants to go!” It was unbelievable music to my ears. Truly miraculous. I also started making connections between her behavior and potential diagnoses. I am not a medical professional who is qualified to diagnose special needs, but I have been able to make educated guesses that help me find solutions for her unique behaviors and needs.
Hannah has changed everything. And even more importantly, Hannah herself is growing and learning. Just as her name represents, she is a fulfilled promise from the great Promise Keeper.
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If you’ve ever studied another language, you know that translation is not always as simple as it seems. The phrase “Lost in Translation” becomes very real when you start learning a new language. There is a Chinese word that the Chinese people use often, but it doesn’t have a very good English equivalent. The word is guanxi 关系。It often gets translated as relationship, or what I think is even closer, rapport (I know, you’re wondering if that’s even English). The problem with translating this word guanxi is that it is such a cultural concept. Guanxi represents something that American culture doesn’t have. In China, relationships are everything. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” When you move into a new apartment here, its a good idea to get to know the gate guards right away. Ask them about their kids, their hometown, give them an apple as you come home from the market. Eventually, you’ll need something from them, information or a favor, or help with some task. Never mind that you’re paying a fee every month to the apartment complex for their services… Rather, because of the relationship you’ve built with them, they feel a responsibility towards you. This concept of guanxi is everywhere, especially in business. Knowing someone “on the inside” is the only way to get anything done. Building trust and a history together is everything. Guanxi has been incredibly important as we build a relationship with the orphanage Hope Station serves. We initiated a relationship with them with the intention of serving them, expecting nothing in return except their trust and cooperation. But because of this give-and-take mentality that is built into Chinese culture, it has taken a long time for them to believe that we are simply there to help… we don’t want to exploit the children, we don’t want money, we don't want to build up our reputation at their expense. We’ve been visiting this orphanage since 2010. In all that time, they have never asked us for anything, they have rarely agreed to any of our ideas or proposals, and they watch us like hawks anytime we are there. Recently, something changed. I can’t say if it’s time, or the fact that we keep coming back, or something I’m entirely unaware of. But something has definitely changed. In June, I sat down with the orphanage Director and my CRDF colleague (from the Chinese nonprofit that Hope Station is partnered with here) to talk about a new therapy program. She was surprisingly open to our ideas and asked lots of questions. My colleague and I felt good about where things ended, with her approval to let us try out our therapy program (victory!). But we still hadn’t signed any papers, and with all the past no’s we’d received, I was hesitant to get my hopes up. To my surprise, she followed us out of her office and downstairs to sit with the kids and continue chatting. As we sat there together with the children, she asked us a question I’ll never forget:
“This girl,” and she pointed to a child sitting near us, “She’s never been diagnosed, and we don’t know what to do with her. Can you help her?” It was the first time that she’d ever asked us for help with anything. It took everything within me not to jump up and scream, “Yes!” Keep it together, Rebekah. Maintain a professional attitude. I let my Chinese colleague field the question, and she answered with a calm and positive approach. “Of course, we’re willing to try everything we can. What are her biggest challenges?” Since that day, the Director has smiled and laughed and talked more than ever before. Finally, after 6 years, I feel like we have gained her trust and cooperation. At our next visit, the Director signed the therapy program agreement, and the girl that she asked us about is our very first therapy participant. We call her Hannah, which means favor and grace. Every time I see Hannah, I am reminded of that day, and the favor and grace we received both from our Father and from the orphanage. Just as He was faithful to answer Hannah’s prayers for a son in the Old Testament, He has been faithful to answer ours as well. I don't know about you, but I remember most of my childhood birthdays with fondness. There was the American Girls party, the princess party, the scavenger hunt party, the Chucky Cheese party... I could go on. Birthday parties are special to us for a reason. They make the birthday girl or boy feel loved in a unique way. This past weekend, we had the opportunity to throw a birthday bash for the kiddos at the orphanage. Many of them don't even know their own birthday, let alone have ever had a birthday celebration. With nearly 50 kids between the ages of 1 and 20 in the place they call home, we figured it was about time they all experienced a birthday party for the first time. We went all out. That morning, with the help of some volunteers from a nearby university, we did all the kids favorite activities: coloring, parachute games, and balloons. No birthday party would be complete without a piñata... but those aren't easy to come by on this side of the world. So we made our own. The kids caught on quickly when we explained that there was candy inside and that they would have to hit it until it burst open. Some of the kids surprised us with their strength. Jackson and Eli, who are both deaf, were especially excited to participate. They didn't need any further explanation beyond seeing their buddies take a turn hitting it. Everyone got a turn to whack it with the plastic baseball bat, before we had to help out a bit and cut some holes in it. Finally, it broke and the candy fell and the chaos ensued. Shaylee and Ezra were especially smart, stuffing candy in their shirt or pockets for later. Another big part of birthday parties is the gifts. We couldn't pass up this opportunity. Erin and I had so much fun picking out special gifts for each of the kids individually. We wrapped each one, so that everyone would have a chance to unwrap their own gift. To be honest, we weren't quite sure how this portion of the party was going to go down. Everything we've ever brought to the orphanage has been for all the kids to share, or we've had enough of the same thing to go around to every child. So to give each child a unique gift of their own had the potential to be really meaningful or major chaos. In the end, I think it was both. After what seemed like an eternity handing out wrapped items to kids who were crowding around the big bag of gifts saying, "Where's mine? I want one too!" we reached the bottom. Some of the kids were really excited about their own gifts. Others kept prodding, "But I want what he has!" We did our best to trade things around so everyone was eventually happy.
Our crazy boys Ezra, Jackson, Eli, and Avery all got matching transformer guns. At first they thought they were just guns... which apparently wasn't cool enough. But when we showed them how they could transform into transformer guys, they were ecstatic. After that, they could be found huddled together in a corner or running as a pack through the halls with their transformers in the air. I can only imagine the conspiracy they were dreaming up to take over the world. It was a chaotic day, for sure. But aren't all birthday parties? I look back on my own with fondness, but I can only imagine the planning and coordination that my parents put into the celebrations. I'm sure they felt the chaos of so many children at once doing this or that activity. We know we made the kids happy during the Hope Station Birthday Bash. And that's what matters.
I'm sitting at my desk at home, writing my final blog post of the summer. In all honesty, summer feels so far away. The only thing familiar about the weather right now is that it is raining. The rain must have followed me from Chengdu, and I'm not complaining about it. I've decided I want to do a little BEFORE and AFTER action on this final blog post. If you've been reading throughout the summer, you may have caught on to some of the progress and growth that the kids accomplished. It still blows my mind, looking back to my first month compared to my last. Let's check it out: The four babies I grew so very fond of...
There are so many success stories about the older children, I could write a book. Maybe I will someday. But today, I'll just highlight a few of my favorites.
I've shared about 10 year old Charlotte before. Her situation just breaks my heart, since it is so preventable if only there was someone to champion her. Let me refresh your memory. Previous to June, Charlotte spent the majority of every day sitting on a bucket (the toilet) because she has trouble controlling when she goes to the bathroom. Because of this, her otherwise perfectly functioning legs have become weak and stiff due to lack of use. This summer, every day that I went to the orphanage I got her up and walking around at least once. Turns out, she loves to walk, especially on the stairs. Who knew, this entire time Charlotte was wishing that she could get up and walk around for the sheer pleasure of using her legs and seeing the world. In June, I had to use both hands and walk in front of her, leading her as she held both my hands for stability. By the end of the summer, she was walking with me at her side, holding only one hand, more for her peace of mind than her actual stability. What progress! I am so proud of Charlotte and her love for walking. As a bonus, on the last day of the summer she was walking with another guest and walked right over to me and plopped down on my lap and SMILED. That was a first. Good work, Charlotte.
SO WHAT'S NEXT--------------> This is the question everyone has been asking. When will I go back? What will my next trip look like? And when does Hope Station open its doors to foster children? Right now, I continue to work and live in the U.S. Thanks to the generosity of our donors, I am now working full time for Hope Station. This fall I will focus on fundraising. That is all that's left in this big puzzle we have been piecing together in the last four years. Just think... if all of these kid-successes happened after only 2 days a week for 3 months, imagine the impact that could be made in these kids' lives with 24-hour care. When I return to China, we will begin doing just that. Our goal is to have a sustainable annual income of $85,000 by the end of 2014, made possible by supporters like you who commit to a recurring monthly or annual gift. We are $65,000 away from that reality. If you have not made a commitment to give monthly or annually to Hope Station, you can start today. It's super simple, and super rewarding. Just visit the Hope Station website at www.hsorphans.org/donate to start giving right now. In January or February of 2015, I will be heading to China once again, this time with all my belongings in tow. I'll be moving. And that is where I end this post, to leave you wondering what that will all look like... Pardon the cheesy title, but it's true. Tuesday's orph day was all about gross and fine motor skill development. I'm so thankful for my year and a half as a Behavior Therapist, which helped me learn how to plan activities that develop gross and fine motor skills AND are fun at the same time! Let me back up a bit: a couple weeks ago, I walked into a children's store in my neighborhood. I had spotted a small plastic slide on the sidewalk outside, and finally worked up enough courage to go inside and ask about. In Chinese, of course. Ok, I also practiced ahead of time what to say. The cashier received me graciously; we talked in circles, me asking questions, her answering, then me confirming what she said. I finally figured out that I could order it that day and they would have it delivered to my apartment the next day. I signed the papers and paid. The next day, I get a call from an unknown number (that's always a little nerve wracking, as I don't know whether to answer in English or Chinese)... It was the delivery guy. I actually understood him and he me, as we made a plan for me to receive the delivery at 2:00. Sure enough, he arrived on the dot. Much to my surprise, the box was HUGE. Taller than the guy, and definitely taller than me. Not only that, but the picture on the outside of the box is not just a slide. It is a slide and swing and basketball hoop. Score. So here I am, in my living room by myself, staring at an unassembled playset in a box, that I am supposed to somehow get all the way to the orphanage, not to mention simply out of my 13th floor apartment. Twenty minutes later it was all ready to go! I've never seen so many children so happy to go down a 3 foot high slide over and over. And everyone wanted to try the swing, big and small. Let's talk motor skills: that slide has 4 small stairs which you are required to climb if you want to get to the slide. For kids who stay on one level and don't use stairs as part of their daily life, this is vital for their development. Swings, as most everyone has experienced, have a calming effect. Especially for children who have no adults in their life to provide comfort, a swing can provide some much needed physical stimulation and comfort in difficult situations. And who can argue with a little mini basketball game? The line for that slide and swing was continuous throughout the afternoon. I must say, I'm pretty proud of myself finding a "toy" that I am able to leave there without worrying that it will be hidden, eaten, thrown out a window, or otherwise ruined before returning on Saturday. When I returned to the orph after lunch, I had an activity in mind for developing everyone's fine motor skills: bendy straw necklaces! The night before, I had cut up 150 bendy straws into 1 inch pieces, to use as beads in making necklaces. I may have mentioned before, craft stores don't exist here; so I've had to get creative with craft supplies, using recyclables and household items. The kids were thrilled about the idea and jumped right in. Surprisingly, there were no fights over materials or colors or space... and they all worked so intently on getting each straw piece onto the string by themselves! I was so proud. Mission Fine Motor Skills Development was a success. A few other precious moments from Tuesday:
I go back again on Saturday, and SARA will be coming with me! The kids are already excited to see her... stay tuned for more smiling faces.
My particular street has six restaurants (noodles, dumplings, traditional dishes, and soup), two veggie shops, a fruit shop, a couple hair dressers, three convenience stores, and a ma jiang (like poker) parlor. Right around the corner is a dairy shop where I get eggs and milk and yogurt, and a massage place--feet only or whole body. The gate guard at my apartment complex and I have a special, uh... bond? We almost never speak, but every time I walk in or out, he is sure to nod and smile in my direction. A few times I have been looking down, and he shouted "Ay!" to get my attention so we could nod and smile at each other. The lady who owns a convenience store across the street knows that I always get coke zero, and that I like it cold. Of course, my favorite place to frequent is the little ice cream stand, a couple neighborhoods over. Chocolate ice cream, hard packed, in a waffle cone, for less than a dollar. That's a no brainer.
Speaking of kids, the rest of today's post is dedicated to a couple spectacular little ladies: How do you describe a little one that is so completely precious beyond words? Let's start with her name... The name Rena is Hebrew for joy. I gave her this name because of the joy I see in her, the joy she brings me, and the joy that I wish for her life. Rena is about 5 years old, which is younger than most of the other kids in the orph. She is shy with strangers, but quick to engage in activities with people she knows. She loves to color (she's great at staying in the lines!), blow bubbles, play with balloons, and look at books. But above all, Rena loves to sing. She will grab a coloring book and a handful of crayons and go sit in a corner by herself, singing away the entire time. There she will stay, in her own little world, for hours on end if she could. Rena has no apparent special needs, but does seem to have a consistent lack of Vitamin E, resulting in some skin discoloration and patchy hair. Her short haircut is almost boy-like, but she is always in a little dress. Rena's life would be so different if she had a family of her own... A mom to give her constant hugs and kisses and tuck her in at night, siblings to color with and play dress up, a dad to sit her on his lap and tell her she is beautiful and precious. I can't help but imagine it every time I take her into my lap. I caught Rena on video singing to herself. See if you can resist this cute voice... Ella is one of the children that has been at this orph ever since my first visit in December 2010. Back then, she was the girl who didn't smile at all... until you tickled her or threw her into the air. The she would bust into the biggest grin and giggle I've ever heard from a girl so small! To be honest, not much has changed for little Ella. Of course, she is bigger now, and has more mobility, walking and moving around. In fact, she is also much stronger, painfully apparent when she pulls at my hair or digs her fingers into my arm. But the truth is, her social and emotional development since 3.5 years ago is next to nothing. She is still slow to smile, quick to walk up to any and every stranger to be held (no apparent attachment to any one person in her life), and overall lives life in a daze. Ella has Down Syndrome, and no language skills at all. The most intuitive thing I've seen her do is to copy me when I blew on her wet "hand"paint once. Her deepest desire of every moment is simply to be held. Without fail, if you walked into the orphanage right now, Ella would walk straight up to you, put her arms up and wait for you to pick her up. There is one little ray of sunshine in Ella's life worth mentioning: Shaylee. Shaylee is another kiddo in the orph, who I have yet to introduce you to. She is about 10, and she has assumed a big sister role to Ella. If I am passing out food, Shaylee makes sure Ella gets one. If I am doing facepaint, Shaylee makes sure Ella gets one (despite the fact that Ella could care less about facepaint). I am thankful for Shaylee's role in her life. Nevertheless, it does not negate the fact that Ella needs a family. Little precious Ella, we hope to find you one soon... (Many of the pictures in this post are compliments of my dear friend Liz Blinn...
thanks for being much more on top of photographing life than I am!) Last week I wrote a few mini bios on three of the kids I've been working with: Josiah, Max, and Maisy. It was super fun to hear all your responses about them. I agree, they are pretty precious. That being said, I have some unfortunate corrections to make about a couple of the kiddos. Throughout the last month I have been compiling information on each of the kids, including name and age and any special needs. It is a slow process. I do my best to make predictions, then confirm with multiple nannies who work there. Last week I told you that Josiah is 3 years old. He is in fact 4 years old. And Maisy, rather than 6 months old, is 1 year old. I share these facts with you because it really sheds light on the reality of the situation here. Children's growth patterns and potential for development are really limited by the lack of resources and attention they receive. Maisy is definitely on track with a 6 month old's healthy development, but definitely not on track with a one year old's healthy development. At this point she should be standing her own if not walking, and babbling if not saying some words. She is doing neither. She can barely stand on her own holding on to the edge of the crib, let alone take steps in any direction. Her time is limited outside her crib, and the time she does get is usually in a little chair or bouncy seat. No opportunities for her to practice walking. Her vocalizations are limited to laughing and crying; no cooing or babbling, or pointing to things or waving. What does this tell us? These kids are getting what some might call the "bare essentials" of life: water, food, shelter, clothing. But I say the bare essentials are so much more than that. The very word LIFE implies that something is thriving and growing. If we want Maisy to thrive and grow, she needs love and attention and comforting arms and tickling fingers and smiling faces and encouraging words and coaxing hands... So much more than water, food, shelter, and clothing. Every day I go to the orphanage I am reminded, however harshly, why we need Hope Station; or rather, why these kids need Hope Station. OK. Before I end this post, let me quick lighten the mood. This past week I tried something new: the parachute! This parachute was gifted to Hope Station by a wonderful donor before I left for China, and it has been a big hit. In fact, it has been one of the only activities during which they ALL sat still for more than 2 minutes at a time. We played some super simple games, that would be completely boring for most children. But when you have never seen a parachute in your life... That changes things. I called out actions like "Fast!" or "Slow!" or "Up!" while they tried to keep up. After a little while, I let some of the kids take turns giving directions. That was a big deal. Some of the boys are just hams and love the spotlight. So, enjoy the pictures and make sure to check out the video link to get a peek of this parachute adventure! Three. That's the number of times I've visited the orphanage in the last couple weeks. Still blows my mind that I have the time and resources to keep going back. Thank you to all of HS's donors who are making this summer (and beyond!) possible. Whether you have just started following my blog or have been following every post (hi Mom!), I know that it is impossible to remember details of each kiddo that I talk about. Orphanage days are crazy, and I come home exhausted each time. It's hard enough for me to keep track of their names and personalities! So in this post I wanna try something different, to give you a little glimpse of a few of them more closely. Max is quite the little stunner. His huge, inquisitive eyes melt me with every look. Of all the kids, Max is one of the most calm and reserved. He's never said a word, but seems to understand a lot more than he lets on. I am always surprised by how interested he is in everything I do, despite his quiet nature. Whether I am making balloon animals, or passing out paper and markers, or even taking selfies with groups of kids on my phone, he is right there in the thick of it. Quiet, but definitely a little extrovert in his own way. I heard him laugh once last week... it was surprising and wonderful. I pulled out a new toy, called the Sound Machine. You press buttons on it to make different sounds like clapping, laughing, a drumroll, or a whistle. I let them take turns (not as easy as it sounds) pressing the buttons and picking the sounds. The first time Max got to press the button, a little tiny laugh bubbled up out of him. It was the sweetest sound. Without fail, every time he pressed a button, the same little laugh came out. Looking forward to getting to know this little dude even better over the next couple months. Much love little guy. Little lady Maisy. Really, the pictures of little lady do her no justice. She laughs so easily, at any tickle or smile in her direction--so much so that we first started calling her "happy baby." Maisy is about 6 months old, and spends most of every day in her crib in the baby room. Every once in a while, she gets to sit up in a roller chair that is put into her crib. Maisy has reached the majority of the developmental milestones that she should have at this point (yay!), such as rolling from back to front, holding her own head up, and grasping at things she is interested in. And yet, the more time I spend with her, the more I notice the little gaps in that development; even though she can hold her head up on her own, it is still quite weak and "jerks" up and down when she goes from horizontal to vertical or vice versa. Maisy is definitely a favorite among the nannies. This works in her favor for now, as she needs the attention when she cries or fusses. Nevertheless, she still gets fed a bottle of formula in her crib propped up on blankets, rather than getting bottle fed by a physical person. I was able to give her her bottle yesterday, and hope to do that regularly when I am around. Love you little lady Maisy! For better or worse, the first word that comes to mind for Josiah is SASSY. This kid has so much attitude it is hilarious and horrible all at once. We didn't even see him the first day we went to the orphanage. So, on the second day we were there, when he came waddling in with enough attitude to capture anyone's attention, we were quite surprised. He hopped right in next to the kids, took the entire bag of crayons for himself, climbed up ON to the table, grabbed someone's paper, and sat down to color. Needless to say, he is quite capable of making a scene. At three years old, he is small for his age but makes up for it with his big personality. Emotions come easy for him, happy and sad alike, and being around people is his favorite. When Josiah discovered that we were facepainting, he stuck his little hand right into the middle of the group of kids and said, "Do mine!" (in Chinese of course). And when we were blowing up long balloons, he got a hold of two of them, walked right up to Liz, handed her one, and started fighting her with his own.
I have no doubt Josiah will make waves in this world. My hope for him is that he will use his fire and strength for good, in a community and world that so desperately needs it. Love you buddy.
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A note from Rebekah...If you've ever wondered what it would be like to start a nonprofit from the ground up, to open a home for ORPHANS with special needs in Asia, you've come to the right place. Archives
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