In June, Josiah-now-Jay went home with his new forever family! He had been matched with this family since last summer (read the match story here). It has been absolutely amazing to walk through this experience with him and his family. To be on his side of the world throughout the waiting period, to send pictures and updates to his mom as he grew, to deliver a birthday cake from his family to him when he turned 5 years old. Now I’m visiting the U.S. side of the world, and I find myself reflecting on all that happened with Hope Station during our first year and a half in China. In December, we received the very final news that we won’t be able to do foster care (read that story here). That was unexpected and difficult news to receive. It meant a total redirection of our programs, which was not an easy thing to wrap our minds around, let alone carry out. Yet, also unexpected in our first year was the role we were able to play for three adoptive families and their kiddos. For Anthony-now-Tommy, Maisy-now-Emma, and Josiah-now-Jay, we stood in the gap as families waited to meet their child, and children waited to go home. I personally didn’t even realize the full impact that standing in the gap could make, until I walked through the whole experience with Josiah-now-Jay. It was a privilege to be his mama’s hands and feet before she came to get him, as I visited him weekly at the orphanage. And I looked ever forward to the day that his mama and brother and sister would arrive in China to meet him for the first time. I had stayed in such close contact with her that she graciously invited me to be there when they first met their Jay.
Adoptive mama has been waiting to meet her son for almost a year, pouring over every detail of his face in every picture she has of him, memorizing every word from every email in an effort to get to know this little boy who will join her family, wondering how he will react when they meet. Will he be excited? Afraid? Smiling? Crying? Watching Josiah-now-Jay jump into her arms for the first time definitely tugged at my heart strings. But after those first few seconds, he gets down, looks at her and his siblings, and seems to be asking himself, “So… now what?” He doesn’t know her, and they don’t even speak the same language. We all play together for the next hour as paperwork is being signed by all involved. When it comes time for the orphanage staff to leave and for Josiah-now-Jay to go with his new family, he starts screaming, sobbing, kicking his way out of everyone’s arms as we try to comfort him. I make sure they were all settled in their van to go back to their hotel, as he is still screaming, and then I say goodbye. (His mom told me later that he cried all the way to the hotel - until they reached the elevator and let him touch all the buttons… then he was fine.) It’s been three months now since he went home to America with his forever family. And we’ve kept in touch. Every time he sees a picture of me in his mom’s phone, he asks to video call me. He’ll call, and we’ll have short conversations in Chinese about his bike, or his love for milk, or going swimming. I’m now the only person in his life who is connected to the last five years of his life. His mama sends me videos of him often, and sometimes asks if I can understand what he’s saying if he’s frustrated or making funny faces when he says something in Chinese. He’s transitioning so well. Being part of his life after going home was something I never expected. But the role that I play, through Hope Station, is bridging a gap that no one else can. As he grows up, he’ll forget Chinese and he’ll forget what his life in the orphanage was like. But I’ll always remember. I’ll always be around to tell those stories about when he was being potty trained, how much he loved books when we first brought them, or the funny sheep shaped cake he had on his 5th birthday. Hope Station might not be doing foster care, as we originally thought. But we are still doing all we can to give the gift of family to these kids, standing in the gap between forever families and children during the adoption process, and bridging the gap between past and future after they go home. It’s oh so sweet. And it makes every struggle along the way oh so worth it.
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If you’ve never heard Maisy’s laugh, you are missing out. Chances are, you haven’t, considering most of you are living on the opposite side of the globe from Maisy and me. But let me tell you, there is absolutely no way to hear her giggle and not giggle back at her. Granted, Maisy had her crabby days just like the next toddler. That girl could make the fiercest moody faces I’ve ever seen on a 2 year old. But I made it a personal challenge to make her laugh every time I saw her. I couldn’t leave the orphanage without making sure she’d laughed at least once… that adorable laugh that sounded like summer. I spent a lot of time praying for little lady Maisy. Even though she was already a toddler, she wasn’t eating solid foods, she wasn't attempting to run, and she wasn’t interacting with other children the way most toddlers do at her age. We’d heard a rumor that she would never be available for adoption because her birth mom was still alive, just unable to care for her. It broke my heart. She was such a delight. And she needed a family. Then one day, our partnering adoption agency emailed me with a surprising request: “Can I ask you a big favor? Maisy’s file was just assigned to our agency and I just introduced her file to an adoptive family. Can you please share with me any information that you know of Maisy?” Never before had they asked for our help in the adoption process. And of course, I was so happy to help answer all of their questions. I shared videos and pictures, and my observations on her personality and development and experience growing up in the orphanage. Then, I waited. It was months before we finally found out that Maisy had been matched with a family! I asked the adoption agency to share my contact info with the family in case they wanted further updates while they waited to come pick her up… but I never heard back. We knew that Maisy’s adoptive family would come pick her up in the spring, but we also knew that we would probably never meet them or cross paths with them. Parents meet their children for the first time at the adoption office in Chengdu, rather than at the orphanage. While we all waited, we loved on her as much as we could. We started speaking English to her so that she could get used to hearing the different sounds and words even before moving to America. And when the day came for us to say goodbye to Maisy, we thought it would be forever. Of course, we were thrilled for her to be joining a forever family. That made the goodbye so bittersweet. Fast forward to a couple weeks after Maisy left the orphanage. I received a message on facebook from the Easter family, thanking Hope Station for loving and praying for Maisy-now-Emma before she joined their family. By some miracle, they had found Hope Station’s page and recognized their new daughter from pictures we had posted. Truly a miracle, and a blessing for all of us. Since then, we've been able to share with them all of our photos of Maisy-now-Emma’s first two years and tell them more about what her life was like in the orphanage. We were there when she started saying "mama," we were there when she started learning to walk, and we were there when she learned the joy of hide-and-seek ... So many of those first moments that her forever family now has pictures and stories of, even though they weren't able to be there in person. In return, the Easter family encouraged us in saying that Maisy-now-Emma is growing up in a home that loves the Father. All of these things are huge answers to things we’ve asked the Father for throughout our time with Maisy.
From us and from the Easters: thank you to each and every one of you that kept Maisy-now-Emma in your thoughts along the way! Praise the One who gave her that laugh like summer and the eternal joy of family.
Within 30 seconds he had entered, captured everyone's attention, and gotten right into the middle of what was going on. All at 2 feet tall. Over the next few weeks, I experienced more and more of Josiah's personality. I couldn't help but think of him as fiery and feisty. And that's exactly where the name Josiah came in. Whenever I meet a new child in the orphanage, I learn their Chinese name and then give them an English name. (They often won't ever hear their own English name, but it helps us English speakers to understand as we talk about the kiddos we love!) Josiah means "Fire of the Lord" and seems to encompass Josiah as he is, and all that I hope and pray for his future. He was fiery as he picked out coloring pages each week ("This one. No. That one. NO! This one!"), fiery when he got marker on his hands ("I need to wash my hands! Help!"), and fiery when he played with balloons ("Make me a sword!" and then... "Chaaarge!"). Of course, a fiery personality in a now 4 year old has its struggles. There have been countless moments that Josiah demanded a toy or thing from me, and I said no. Tantrums, crying, throwing himself on the floor, those have all been part of our experiences together. But he is learning that my word is final, and we have reached a point where he will often comply if I ask him to "Ask nicely and you can have it." Amidst all of the struggles, sheer joy and unlimited laughter have been the highlights. Josiah was the first child I introduced to books, and we read that Fruit board book for hours before moving on to Vehicles. Turns out that books are the only thing that keep him still for more than 2 minutes at a time. Tickles, chasing, hiding, and being sneaky are some of my favorite memories with Josiah, and we have spent countless mornings together laughing and hiding and sneaking around corners to scare each other. Nearly all of the children in China's orphanages have special needs, but it was a long time before I learned Josiah's special need. Just a few months ago, we discovered his diagnosis, one that caused him to have small stature, clumsiness, and some lack of control over his muscles. This explained the nearly constant bruise on his forehead from falling on his face so often. I started bringing toys for Josiah that helped develop his fine and gross motor skills, and he loved them. All the while, I hoped and prayed for Josiah's adoption file to be completed so he could be made available for adoption. This spring, it finally happened. We started advocating for Josiah through BAAS (an adoption agency in the States that we work alongside), hoping that through our pictures and videos his forever family would find him. Earlier this month, I got an email from Rachel. Rachel had seen a picture of Josiah and wanted to know more. We shared several emails back and forth, and she finally decided to move forward and pursue little Josiah! Rachel has a son and daughter who were also adopted from China, and Josiah's picture and fiery personality immediately reminded her of her son, who is also "a feisty, fiery, center of the party tiny guy." The three of them are so excited to be pursuing Josiah and can't wait to welcome him into their family. Before anything was sure, they had started affectionately calling him "Jay." As it turns out, that is the name they have decided to stick with as Josiah-now-Jay joins their family. We can't wait to meet them and introduce them to their son and brother.
We hope that this is the first of many family stories we get to tell you in the future. |
A note from Rebekah...If you've ever wondered what it would be like to start a nonprofit from the ground up, to open a home for ORPHANS with special needs in Asia, you've come to the right place. Archives
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