Some of you may remember Eli and Ezra from Rebekah’s blog. They are two boys who have grown up in the orphanage together. In every way, but blood, they are brothers. Eli is deaf and Ezra has learned sign language in order to communicate with Eli. The two of them are always together. For this reason, they were originally available to be adopted together. Unfortunately, recent law changes has made this now impossible.Many of the laws involving adopting children in China have changed over the past several years. The vast majority of these laws have shown China’s desire to protect its children in orphanages. The changes are overall good for many Chinese children. However, one of the recent changes to the law has made it harder for these two to stay together if adopted. Children that are not related by blood can no longer be adopted together by the same family at the same time. A family could in theory adopt one child and await the specified amount of time (years) before being able to bring the other child home. This would mean that the child waiting could either age out of the adoption process or could very well be adopted by another family.There are currently only two ways that would guarantee that Eli and Ezra could stay together. The first would be to remain at the orphanage together. They would have each other to fight through life together. However, they would never know the love of a forever family. This is not the preferred option. The second option would be to find two families that live near one another that could adopt the boys. They would not get to live together, but they would hopefully be able to see each other often and continue their amazing friendship. This is what I hope for them! I would love to see them have each other and loving forever families. Their own champions who would be willing to go the extra mile just for them!
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This month's post is a continuation of last month's blog. You can go to https://hopestationblog.weebly.com/stephanies-blog/life-for-children-with-down-syndrome-part-1?fbclid=IwAR0t4e8Jj_yvRINtInxpBRXAjc_77ugpW8LvoA4CKr3pLVP4LkHrUgTi5IY to read Alexander and Hope's stories! Max’s story is very inspiring! The other four children with Down Syndrome do not attend school. The orphanage did not plan on sending Max either. However, he was one determined little guy. He begged and begged for them to allow him to attend school with the rest of the kids that go every day. He would not let the subject go! Today, Max attends school. He is learning to read and write. He is full of energy and an excitement for life. He is a very engaging young man, and has shown immense determination to live life to the fullest! I look forward to seeing the man that he will become. In a world, where people with Down Syndrome are often looked down upon, Max will prove them all wrong! Moses is not much younger than Max. They may even be the same age. We do not know Moses’ history and how he came to be in the orphanage. But the burns on the entire left side of his body tell us that he does not have a happy story. He is a little guy bursting with energy and wanting nothing more than to run and play. He loves any activity that involves his whole body. He also has a terrific arm and great aim! He would probably do very well in baseball or football. Unfortunately, Moses spends most of his days inside one small room with several other children. He is hardly ever given the chance to go outside and has no constructive ways to get out his energy. This has led to him pulling on or hitting other children, and using his great aiming skills to throw items from around the room into the toilet. This behavior has led him to be banished to the window sill. When Hope Station visits, if it is sunny, we are able to take him outside. When it’s raining, we try to find a big motion activity to do indoors. Currently, we are working on stacking blocks and learning how to throw a ball to a person instead of the toilet! The smile on his face is huge! He is also primarily non-verbal, but when he is having a wonderful time, we can hear his excited sweet voice. The youngest girl in the group is Ella. Similar to Moses, she is primarily non-verbal. She loves to be held! She also enjoys playing with string, dolls, and paper. She desires one-on-one interaction from any adult in the room. Unfortunately, she has not been given any form of early intervention. She picks up behaviors quickly, by copying other children’s movements. But these behaviors are not always great ones to be mimicking. She has been left to a world of her own. Hope Station is helping her learn how to do more activities that will help her develop and grow. She has enjoyed mimicking the behaviors of an adult giving her one-on-one attention. We are hoping that as she engages more with us, she will be able to engage with the world around her. The negative views and opinions towards children and adults with Down Syndrome have played a huge role in causing these five children to be in the orphanage. There is a widely-held opinion that people with Down Syndrome are a burden to society and are not able to contribute. This is simply not true, and places a human life’s worth on their productivity instead of the wonderfully created individuals we all are! If Alexander and Hope can help the nannies at the orphanage provide care for the other children, what else could they learn to do? If they had been allowed to attend school and been given the skills to read and write, how different would their lives be? Would they have more options for a future of their choosing? With early intervention, Moses and Ella may have been given more of the ability to effectively communicate their wants and needs. What types of lives could they have lived? How much farther could Max’s determined personality push him in life if he had a champion helping him fight the fight all the way along the journey?
Over the past year, I have begun having a new love and appreciation for children and adults with Down Syndrome. I have known several individuals throughout my life with Down Syndrome and have enjoyed my interactions with them. But over the past year, that enjoyment has grown into the appreciation I now have for these precious people. With a bit more education on individuals with this syndrome and after spending time with the children we serve at Hope station, my perspective has widened. Children and adults with Down Syndrome can be and are very often fully capable and able to do so much! The publics’ view on people with this syndrome has led to many of these children to be abandoned or aborted. This view is stealing away our opportunities to bless and to be blessed by people with Down Syndrome. The orphanage that Hope Station serves currently has five children with Down Syndrome. All five of them all function in different ways and at different levels. At each of their ability levels, they have all touched my heart in some way. Alexander is the oldest boy with Down Syndrome at the orphanage. He is a young teenager with a beautiful smile and is always excited to welcome us each time he sees one of the Hope Station staff. He loves to color, dance, and join in any fun activity. I wish that he could always be able to do fun activities and have time to enjoy the life around him. Alexander is always willing to help others and enjoys putting a smile on people’s faces. However, this willingness to help has been used against him. He has been placed in a room with many other teenage boys. All of the boys in Alexander’s room have some type of special need. Many of the boys are in wheel chairs or are unable to complete basic daily activities (such as eating or going to the bathroom) on their own. There are about 14 to 15 boys in this room and all of them are placed in the care of 1 nanny. This nanny has enlisted the help of Alexander and one other boy to help her in her daily duties. If she needs a break, to go to the bathroom or just have a minute, Alexander and the other boy are left to care for the other boys in their room. This is a huge responsibility for anyone! Especially a teenage boy! He’s still just a kid and desires to enjoy his childhood. But sadly, Alexander has had to grow up far quicker than he need to. On our trips to the orphanage, we try to make sure he gets time to enjoy coloring or dancing! Hope is a young teenage girl at the orphanage. She enjoys puzzles, coloring, doing anything girly, singing, and dancing. When Rebekah Kepha began coming to the orphanage four years ago, Hope was always smiling and laughing. She exuded joy and anyone interacting with her could feel that, hence the name Hope. However, in the past years, she has become less and less joyful. The weight of the world is on her shoulders these days and it is easy to see in her countenance. Like Alexander, Hope has been called upon by the nanny in her room to help take care of the other children. Hope now has the responsibilities of feeding, cleaning, assisting those on the toilet, and many times disciplining the other children in her room. She is responsible for making sure no one gets hurt on her watch. The jobs she is expected to do, is the same as a trained nursing assistant in the States. Here she is, a teenager with little to no schooling being given huge tasks. She does them well, and the other children definitely respect her. But her childhood is over. She has less time to enjoy dancing and singing. Hope is also very much a teenager still. She has her moody days as teenagers do, and could use a day to take a break from all the demands she faces. We try to make sure she gets a chance to take a break and do an activity she finds enjoyable when we visit. She loves to have someone do a puzzle with her, or watch her dance. Read about Max, Moses, and Ella's stories next month in part 2 of this blog! I was asked the question over the summer, “how do children in China end up in orphanages?” The standard reasons are as true for China as they are for the rest of the world in many cases. For some children, their guardians meet unexpected deaths, and some parents are deemed unfit parents for various reasons. One boy in the orphanage we serve is there because his mother was arrested for drug abuse. Another little girl’s mother is currently in the hospital due to mental illness. There are sometimes even teenage mothers who are still very young themselves. Like their counterparts in the rest of the world, many of these mothers are not able to care for their children due to their lack of ability to be self-sustaining. |
Hey! Did you catch my latest blog post about "Noah: the Warrior?" I'd love to share with you what I've been up to with Hope Station! Click here to read my latest blog post. |
Children that grow up in orphanages go through enormous challenges. They often suffer from language delays, attachments disorders, and a host of many other struggles. There are children who fold under the struggle and there are others who come out victorious. Just over a year old, Noah has already gone through heart surgery and abandonment, a little soul who has already experienced so much hardship. His tiny chest bears a large scar. How do you expect his personality to be at this point? Guarded? Closed off to the world? Will he be able to rise to the challenges around him or fold under the pressure?
When I met Noah, I was surprised by his joy and determination for life. I met Noah last November, when he still couldn’t crawl. That didn’t seem to slow him down any. He could move around the floor quicker than the older boys running across the floor. When he began to crawl, man was he everywhere! He was in all of the drawers and any space he could fit into. He also has a contagious giggle. A belly tickle can fill the room with his sweet laughter. He is always ready to play and interact with any of the adults in our team.
Due to many babies coming and going, nannies often will become attached to certain babies, but keep the others at arm’s length. Noah has been one of the babies kept at arm’s length. Yet, that did not stop him from being heard. I have seen him go straight up to one of the nannies and pull on them until they pick him up. He doesn’t mind elbowing his way through a group in order to be seen and heard. The last couple of months, I have seen more nannies warm to him.
A couple of weeks ago our team came into the orphanage to a different scene. Usually the babies are kept in one room and are not allowed out of that room. This day however, the babies had all been taken out into the hallway in either a stroller or baby walker. Noah was in a walker. The rooms with the older kids also had their doors open and many children and nannies were out in the hall. They had attempted to block off parts of the hallway that led downstairs with metal gates. While I was interacting with children on one side of the hallway, I saw Noah attempting an escape on the other side. He had managed to move the metal gate just enough to get his walker through. I saw a potential disaster waiting to happen and quickly made sure the children I was interacting with would be ok for a few minutes and headed towards Noah. He went down a safe portion, but then saw the cool stairs and began pushing his walker right towards the stairs. Luckily, one of the older girls and myself were able to make it just before he plummeted down the stairs. Nothing seems to keep this kid contained! He wants to know and discover all that is around him.
How long can a child stay in an orphanage and not be massively impacted? How long can one strong little soul keep fighting alone? This is why Hope Station makes it a priority to show up on a regular basis. Our team is coming along side children like Noah to fight for him, because he shouldn’t have to fight, not at 1 years old! Our hope is to see nannies trained in child development. This will help so many children to have daily champions. I do not know the exact condition of Noah’s physical heart. We have not been able to learn what the initial issue was with his heart. The nannies have said that he appears to be fine now, but they won’t know for sure until he turns 3. It sounds as if he will not be open for adoption until then. This breaks my heart! I had hoped that if he could quickly get adopted so that the effects from living in an orphanage would be minimal. He is such a strong kid, and I feel strongly that a good loving family could help him to continue to become the strong man he could be one day. Currently, it looks like his fight will continue on for a couple more years. I pray that Hope Station and the nannies are able to help him through this incredibly tough beginning of life. Please be praying that he will be up for adoption as soon as possible, and that the right family will welcome him into their home.
Stephanie (Rommen) Li
"Every child needs to be loved in gigantic quantities and with unbelievable quality."
-Daniel Mackler
There are so many children in this world that will sadly not be loved in this way. Hope Station is an incredible group that seeks to change this for so many children. This is an enormous task! Here is my journey to helping accomplish this goal.
Stephanie is a Program Associate for Hope Station. She is currently living in China.
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