If you’ve ever studied another language, you know that translation is not always as simple as it seems. The phrase “Lost in Translation” becomes very real when you start learning a new language. There is a Chinese word that the Chinese people use often, but it doesn’t have a very good English equivalent. The word is guanxi 关系。It often gets translated as relationship, or what I think is even closer, rapport (I know, you’re wondering if that’s even English). The problem with translating this word guanxi is that it is such a cultural concept. Guanxi represents something that American culture doesn’t have. In China, relationships are everything. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” When you move into a new apartment here, its a good idea to get to know the gate guards right away. Ask them about their kids, their hometown, give them an apple as you come home from the market. Eventually, you’ll need something from them, information or a favor, or help with some task. Never mind that you’re paying a fee every month to the apartment complex for their services… Rather, because of the relationship you’ve built with them, they feel a responsibility towards you. This concept of guanxi is everywhere, especially in business. Knowing someone “on the inside” is the only way to get anything done. Building trust and a history together is everything. Guanxi has been incredibly important as we build a relationship with the orphanage Hope Station serves. We initiated a relationship with them with the intention of serving them, expecting nothing in return except their trust and cooperation. But because of this give-and-take mentality that is built into Chinese culture, it has taken a long time for them to believe that we are simply there to help… we don’t want to exploit the children, we don’t want money, we don't want to build up our reputation at their expense. We’ve been visiting this orphanage since 2010. In all that time, they have never asked us for anything, they have rarely agreed to any of our ideas or proposals, and they watch us like hawks anytime we are there. Recently, something changed. I can’t say if it’s time, or the fact that we keep coming back, or something I’m entirely unaware of. But something has definitely changed. In June, I sat down with the orphanage Director and my CRDF colleague (from the Chinese nonprofit that Hope Station is partnered with here) to talk about a new therapy program. She was surprisingly open to our ideas and asked lots of questions. My colleague and I felt good about where things ended, with her approval to let us try out our therapy program (victory!). But we still hadn’t signed any papers, and with all the past no’s we’d received, I was hesitant to get my hopes up. To my surprise, she followed us out of her office and downstairs to sit with the kids and continue chatting. As we sat there together with the children, she asked us a question I’ll never forget:
“This girl,” and she pointed to a child sitting near us, “She’s never been diagnosed, and we don’t know what to do with her. Can you help her?” It was the first time that she’d ever asked us for help with anything. It took everything within me not to jump up and scream, “Yes!” Keep it together, Rebekah. Maintain a professional attitude. I let my Chinese colleague field the question, and she answered with a calm and positive approach. “Of course, we’re willing to try everything we can. What are her biggest challenges?” Since that day, the Director has smiled and laughed and talked more than ever before. Finally, after 6 years, I feel like we have gained her trust and cooperation. At our next visit, the Director signed the therapy program agreement, and the girl that she asked us about is our very first therapy participant. We call her Hannah, which means favor and grace. Every time I see Hannah, I am reminded of that day, and the favor and grace we received both from our Father and from the orphanage. Just as He was faithful to answer Hannah’s prayers for a son in the Old Testament, He has been faithful to answer ours as well.
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A note from Rebekah...If you've ever wondered what it would be like to start a nonprofit from the ground up, to open a home for ORPHANS with special needs in Asia, you've come to the right place. Archives
August 2019
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