If you read this post (Guanxi Moments Part 1: The Director), you’ll already know how important guanxi is in Chinese culture. “It often gets translated as relationship, or what I think is even closer, rapport (I know, you’re wondering if that’s even English)… In China, relationships are everything. ‘You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.’” This is Episode Two. And it’s a story that will forever be engraved on my heart. Last fall, I had just returned to China after a summer in America. Throughout the summer, I’d been keeping in touch with Josiah-now-Jay and Maisy-now-Emma, who had both just joined their new forever families in America. It was always so special for me to hear from them and see how they were learning English, loving their siblings, and adapting to life in America. The photos and videos of their new lives were collecting in my phone… I had no idea how significant that would be when I returned to China.
“You miss him?” I asked. “I really miss him. He was like a son to me. I will always miss him.” “Do you want to send him a message in my phone? I can take a video of you…” “Yes! I want to tell him how much I miss him.” I then proceeded to record her video message for Josiah-now-Jay. I could barely keep from crying myself as she choked out her message to him between sobs and tears. She told him how much she misses him, how she wishes she could go and visit him someday. She told him how happy she is that he has a mom and siblings, a family to love him and take care of him. She told him to come back someday and visit her, his Chinese mama. She said she will remember him and love him forever. Never before had I seen such a show of affection and love between nanny and child. And it opened my eyes to a whole new dimension of the nannies’ hearts for the children they care for. Here’s where Chinese guanxi comes in… That nanny used to be so cold towards me. She is used to volunteers who come, play with the babies, then leave her to deal with them as they cry when the volunteers say goodbye. The volunteers don’t come back. They are just another face in the revolving door of “good service” towards orphans. I understand how she could think that I am just another volunteer like that. But this changed everything. Now, I am the gateway between her and the child she loved like her own. Now she greets me with a smile when I come, and she asks me about Josiah-now-Jay every single time without fail. We are friends on WeChat (a Chinese messaging app), and our entire relationship has changed. Through my relationship with Josiah-now-Jay, I showed her that I am committed and dedicated to loving on the kids she loves. And for that, she’s let me in to her circle. I know now that if I ask her for help or a favor, she’ll be happy to oblige. Guanxi is a powerful thing.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
A note from Rebekah...If you've ever wondered what it would be like to start a nonprofit from the ground up, to open a home for ORPHANS with special needs in Asia, you've come to the right place. Archives
August 2019
Categories
All
|